


Come Home

by chll51



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 07:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10759173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chll51/pseuds/chll51
Summary: An old work. Set between season 3 & 4 and a grown Mordred appears way earlier than he's supposed to. A/U.





	Come Home

 

She comes to him in a dream, all bruises and bloodied clothes.

He springs up, haggard for calming breaths, with a mind that won't stop wandering. He holds onto his wife like she's his life but fear's in the pit of his stomach, and it gnaws him from rest. He rides out the morning after and comes back with her in his arms.

She's light in his grasp but heavy on his heart.

 

 

Merlin disapproves. He doesn't say it but the frown on his lips speaks volumes. He glances at Gwen, who avoids his eyes but the same sentiment echoes in her worried gaze. He ignores them all and says, "I won't leave her to die," in a defiant voice that silences the entire room. He leaves out the part where she has tried to burned down the city, and attempted to kill him. "You will treat her as if you would of a royal guest."

He's king now, and his words are law.

 

 

She wakes on the third day.

He knows it before the nurses did. He feels it in his guts and from the twitches of his fingers. He's not surprised, because they did share a connection once; and he supposes it has remained intact even if their relationship didn't.

He buries himself in his work instead of visiting. He still hates her, or maybe hates himself for not hating her as much as he should. After it's Morgana. The girl that he grew up with. The girl that had him wrapped her finger. The girl that he could never deny anything of. The girl that betrayed him and left him to die. The girl that hated him more than he could ever understand.

He spends the next three days in a sleepless state, pondering why she still gets under his skin; in those nights, he holds Gwen a little bit too tight and kisses her with more desperation than she's used to.

 

 

He finally visits and catches her staring outside with eyes that are cold and distant. He remembers them well in the years they grew up together. Nothing has changed except for who they are to each other. "You came." She doesn't look back at him. Her fingers grasp tightly on the blanket by her side. "Didn't think I would ever see you in here, Arthur."

He wants to know why. To know where they went wrong for them to end up like this. He wants to but he doesn't. "What happened to you?"

Lips smear with arrogance and eyes that taunt, she says, "You'll regret it," with her gaze fixes on him, "Everyone else already does."

She sounds too broken, he thinks before closing the door behind him.

 

 

 

The knights ride home from their yearly conference with a wounded Arthur, who bleeds from the steps to his bed. They were ambushed and couldn't see the enemies. Blinded, the knights say, because their vision blackened after they entered the forest. Merlin and Gaius exchange knowing looks.

_Magic._

The word silently hangs like a death sentence.

 

 

Without knowing what causes it, Gaius is powerless to its magic. "I'm sorry," he announces to a crying Gwen. He looks away and says nothing more.

She bursts into tears and turns to Merlin for a comforting shoulder.

 

 

"I won't let you hurt him."

Her head sways toward Merlin, who has managed to slip in undetected. "This is becoming a bad habit, Merlin," she says, not surprised that he'd come to find her. He always comes whenever something's amiss, and the finger's always at her. "People might start to wonder why and we wouldn't want to give them the wrong idea."

His fingers clump into fists. "Whatever it is that you're planning, I'll stop you." The urge to strike her down crosses his mind more than once.

She looks amused. "You think so?"

"Wouldn't be-" She flings him across the room mid sentence. He slams against the wall and falls like a rag doll to the ground. His eye glow gold, striking back. She deflects with a wave of her hand.

She purses her lips and shakes her head. "I expected better."

"You-" he tries again but nothing comes out. "What-"

"I've learned a little trick, Merlin. It's pretty handy. I also modified it a bit-feel that?" Then she pauses and counts to three with her fingers. Suddenly he collapses to the floor. She watches him struggle for air and his body writhes with pain. He looks like a fish out of water, flopping around for survival. "The more you try to use magic, the heavier and more constricted your chest gets. Your heart will tighten and your hands will shake. It's like being poisoned, Merlin. You feel your life being sucked out and you can't do anything about it. You can only pray for it to end while thinking, hoping that maybe, the next breath you take will end it all. I should know, having been poisoned by you once." Then she snaps her fingers and the colors return to his face. She grins. "Good thing I'm not the type to hold onto grudges."

"What-when-" he stammers, still unable to digest what has just occurred. "You-"

"You have become too comfortable in this place," says Morgana, "You're delusional if you think you can save Arthur when you could barely resist my magic. Although I would move quicker if I were you. You never know when Gaius will-" She then slides a finger across her throat "-join Uther on the other side."

The next thing she hears is her door slamming shut.

 

 

 

 

The sun covers his body and scorches his skin. He hears a river and follows the sound. He then ends up somewhere outside the castle's walls. He thinks he recognizes it from his childhood but he can't be sure. His memory is hazy from all the heat. He drops his sword and bends down to splash cold water on his face. Footsteps approach and he strikes first, knocking down his intruder. Dark curls tangle in his hand. "Morgana."

"Is this the way to greet someone, Arthur?" she says, smiling. Teasing lurks in her eyes and tone. "Though congrats for finally managing to knock me off my feet."

He immediately untangles from her.

She looks around. "So this is where you wander to in your sleep. The place where we first met." He has always been the sentimental one in their years growing up. "You're predictable Arthur."

He ignores her and turns away. "Leave."

"Is that all that you have to say to me?"

He gives a curt reply. "Yes."

"No curiosity as to how I found you, or even if I'm real," she says, "This is your one chance my champion."

He stiffens at the nickname. "Awake or not, I don't see how that's any of your concern."

"It's not, but I thought that I should drop by and see what the savior of Camelot is doing with his time. Apparently, nothing of importance."

"And yet, you're still here. Why?"

"I must be an idiot then."

His blue eyes echo in confusion. "No, you're deflecting my question. Tell me why you are here."

"This isn't real, Arthur."

"Don't play games with me." He struggles to be calm, to not be weak, to not forget all that she had done and to treat her as if he'd an enemy; because that's what she is, an enemy, even if she no longer feels like one. "You are the last person that should be lecturing to me on what's real and what's not. You tried to kill me."

Her eyes turn glossy like his words actually affected her. "The city and its people need you."

"Since when do you care about the city or its people?"

She shrugs. "I just like to play fair. Otherwise, where's the fun?"

He raises his sword to which she smirks. "I should strike you down, slide my blade across your throat and end it all, right here."

"We both know that you won't."

He breathes deeply. His eyes keenly keeps on her. "You know nothing, _Lefay_."

She smirks and step foward, angling her throat toward the end of the sword. "Tell me, who would you like me to kill first? Gwen? Gaius? All of the-" Before she can finish, he pushes her against the tree and runs the blade through, purposely missing her by a few centimeters. "Don't." His voice turns low and threatening. "Don't you dare threaten me with those words."

"You wanted to stay here so why do you care about what happens?"

He stays quiet.

"Stay here. Die here. Live in this place for as long as you wish. I'll see to it that the city burns to ashes while knowing that the King they've come to love and respect is nothing more than a coward that's abandoned them."

"Don't speak like you know me."

For awhile, they stand in insufferable silence. She wants to leave, but her feet won't move. "What's your endgame?" Asks Arthur, cautiously.

"The same as it has always been."

"Then," says Arthur. "Make your move. Kill me and claim the city as your own."

She shakes her head.

"You want me dead and here's an opportunity."

"I see now that I've wasted my time talking to someone who isn't even worthy of it." Then she turns away. She hasn't taken even two steps before he speaks up again.

"You, Merlin, everybody else have it wrong. I'm not who you think I am. I'm no savior to Camelot. For crying out loud, I'm just some prat that got lucky. I couldn't even stop my own father from spiraling into madness or save you. You, god, I promised father to look after you but I lost you. I don't know how it happened, only that it did and I know that you're supposed to be my enemy as much as I am yours but..."

"You are still as foolish as ever, Arthur." She then tries to press a smile on her lips to go with her words, like she has accepted her fate, but she looks like she wanted to cry instead; so he reaches out for her hand only to have her flinches and pulls away. "Don't. We're not children anymore. This is not some sort of fairy tale where you're the hero. I don't need you to save me, Arthur, nor do I need you to redeem me. Each choice that I have made has been of my own volition, and I neither regret nor wish for things to turn out differently."

His voice breaks as he asks, "Even if it meant wishing for my death?"

She hesitates. "Yes."

"When?"

She blinks. "What?"

"When did you decide that I was worth the sacrifice?"

"When you stopped caring for my existence and I stopped dreaming of your death. When you were no longer mine alone to protect and when you, and everyone else stood by and watch as my kind get persecuted and burned for being who they are. When I realized that I was and had always been alone."

"I wouldn't have let anything happen to you. I could've-"

"You could've what?" she asks, broken and resigned. "Stop your father from killing me when you yourself hasn't abolished the law after becoming King?"

"What happened to you, Morgana?"

"I grew up and should you," then she pauses and cups his cheek. "Wake up and fight for your city, Arthur."

"What about you?"

She withdraws her hand and ignores his question. "There's a war coming. You need to be ready. You needs swords scorched by a dragon's breath if you have any hope of winning. Talk to Merlin. He will know what to do."

He keeps silent.

"This is the last thing I can do for you."

He holds her back when she turns away. "Fight with us."

She shakes her head. "I can't abandon family."

"Then what about me?"

"You are the king of Camelot and you'll bring about peace." Then she fades away, slipping through his grasp.

 

 

 

 

He wakes up, gasping and Gwen's hand clasping on his. Her eyes soften, puffy from tears. She breaks into a wide grin an throws her arms around him. "Welcome back."

There's a sinking feeling in his stomach. Then a guard rushes in to announce Gaius's death, Morgana's disappearance and all his fears are realized. She crosses his mind like lightning on a rainy night.

 

 

Arthur enters her room some nights later and lets his eyes roam about, trying to see if there anything that could help him figure out and possibly come to understand the woman that she is now; because there are gaps, some pieces that don't fit right. How they became who they are. The timeline of when their path diverged and when her descend bled into his ascension. There's almost a deathly air in her room. It's cold even with all the lighted candles. All traces of her were removed, not by the servants but Morgana herself. That much he's sure of. She wanted nothing of her remain because Camelot has always been the one place she abhorred more than loved.

Arthur wonders why he suddenly feels nostalgic like this.

 

 

"Tell me the truth," Arthur says; face grim and hands rest uselessly in front of him. The room's empty except for the two of them. "Merlin. How long?"

"I don't understand what you're asking of me, site."

"Don't give me the aloof response, the doe eye, confused stare. The truth, Merlin. About who you are and what happened between you and Morgana. What you did to her. What she was. Who you are. I want everything."

So Merlin starts from the beginning and he sits there, listening. The words go in and out. Merlin's fears of him hating him. Morgana's nightmare and being drugged and lied for her protection. Morgana poisoned, and he felt an overwhelming sense of anger, at himself, at Merlin, at everyone involved. All this time, he was so oblivious to everything around him. Once Merlin finishes, Arthur is surprisingly calm when he asked, "Is that all?"

"Yes."

"No more lies, Merlin. No more secrets."

Merlin look surprised at his lack of reaction. He thought that Arthur would reprimand him for keeping such a huge secret to himself and his part in Morgana's downward path. "No more secrets."

For the first time, Arthur feels like he could breathe. "Let the kingdom knows that there shall be no more persecution of magical beings." Then he gives Merlin a smile. "It's being long overdue, don't you think?"

 

 

 

The road to peace is not without difficulties. Just because he abolished the law, it doesn't mean that the hate is erased. People lives were taken. Parents. Children. Mothers. Sisters. He can't stop their resentments in that short amount of time. And true to her words, Mordred raises an army of the undead and leads them into battle against Camelot. Also true to her words, swords scorched with dragon's breath could cut them down.

One by one, they all fall. From Mordred's army to his. Hundred of thousands become thousands and slowly, only a few are left standing. Merlin faces off with Mordred while he wanders through the rubble, looking for Morgause, or possibly Morgana. He doesn't know who he prefers more. She finds him first, as always. "Morgana."

She dresses like the angel of death. All in black and red lips. Her greens eyes dull underneath the light. "Turn back, Arthur."

The sword in his hand weighs heavily. "I did what I was supposed to. I abolished the law."

She smiles sadly. "I know."

"Then why?"

"Didn't I tell you once how foolish and utterly optimistic you were, Arthur?" Says Morgana, shaking her head. "You can't stop what's already has been put into motion. You won't win."

"People with gifts like yours won't have to live in fear anymore," he argues; he doesn't understand how to fix it more than what he has done. "I don't want us to fight. Tell me what I must do to end this."

"You can't-" she hears footsteps and gets in front of him. "Don't move."

He waits in silence and watches but sees nothing. Then blond curls appear. His blood turns cold and Morgana's back stiffens. "Sister."

"Morgana."

Arthur raises his sword, only Morgana holds him back. "I told you I would handle this, sister."

Morgause looks unconvinced. "I knew coming back to Camelot would do change you."

He looks down, surprised but she ignores his stare. "It did no such thing."

"I gave you the perfect opportunity to take his life and you failed. Did you forget how they all betrayed you? How they lied, stabbed and poisoned you at your most vulnerable state?"

He sees hesitation in her voice. "I haven't."

"He's the key that stands between you and Camelot."

"Killing Arthur won't give us the peace we want to achieve," says Morgana, "We need him alive."

"We can will the people into submission."

"The people might bend to fear but their loyalty won't be ours."

Morgause, unmoved by her plea, says, "Get out of the way sister."

"No."

Arthur grips her by the shoulder. "I can do this."

She finally looks back at him. A small smile on her lips. "Help Merlin. He'll need it." When he looks unwilling, she ushers him away by force.

"No," Morgause shouts; her hand waves to pull him forward. Morgana counters quickly. Then the two stands across from one another. "You choose him?"

Shaking her head, "No sister. I choose peace. I'm tired of the killings, the innocent lives being lost, and the never ending war. It has to end. Today." She leaves out the part where she foresees an unsustainable future. A city in chaos with their king dead. She sees unrest, uprising and rivers full of red. She sees their deaths and her holding them in her arms.

"Then today, it shall be."

 

 

Arthur sneaks up on Mordred and delivers a blow to his head. He collapses on the floor and Arthur contemplates driving his blade through him. He doesn't in the end. "You okay?" Asks Arthur, seeing a trail of blood running from the corner of Merlin's left brow.

"What about you, sire?" Asks Meelin, worried. "You're not hurt, are you?"

Arthur shakes his head. "What shall we do about Mordred?"

"I say we make a deal. Mordred for their -" He stops speaking when they both hear a blood curling scream toward the direction of where Arthur last left Morgana.

"That sounds like Morgana," Arthur says with a sudden panic. "I have to go back to her."

"Sire," Merlin then grabs his arms. "We need to think about this wisely. She's with Morgause. This could be a trick."

Arthur pulls away. "I can't let her die." Then he rushes off, not before he yells back. "Stay with Mordred. We might need him." He finds Morgana on the floor, coughing up blood and Morgause standing shakily on her feet. No doubt of what has transpired between the two and Arthur isn't sure if there's even a winner. She sees him and furrow her brows confused. Don't," she shouts angrily when he steps forward. "This is between me and my sister."

He ignores and comes to her. Bending down, "I won't leave you," promises Arthur, helping her up. "We're in this. Together."

"You shouldn't have come back," she says, then coughs. "You're risking everything here."

"I won't leave you." Then he turns to Morgause. "You're gonna have to go through me if you wish to get to her."

"Fine." Morgause says, sounding tired and sapped of strength. Then her eyes looks over at Morgana and there's a small flicker of hesitation but her jaw hardens. "It works out even better this way." She then waves her hand, about to deliver a blow at the two of them.

"Let them go." Merlin suddenly jumps out of nowhere. He props Morded up by the arm and holds a knife to his throat. "Or I will kill him."

"You wouldn't dare," she challenges.

"Wouldn't I?" Retorts Merlin with a dangerous glint as he flashes a devilish smile that tells her the answer she fears. "I think I have proven that there isn't anything I wouldn't do to protect Camelot and its King."

Morgause holds onto her position. Once she sees that Merlin wasn't going to back down, "Fine," she concedes begrudgingly. "Hand him to me."

"Not until you swear that you will never step foot on Camelot and reeks havoc again."

"You're getting conceited Merlin."

"I'm just getting started," says Merlin, then he mumbles an incoherent spell. Mordred's body lifts off the ground and a golden glow wraps around him. In a flash, it turns blinding then disappears. Mordred drops to the ground.

"No," Morgause screams and rushes to his side. She looks up. Hate fills her eyes. "You-"

"You lost," Merlin says and offers no remorse. "I locked up his powers for assurance that you will keep your end of the bargain. He won't be of much used to you now."

"Heed my words, you will pay for this." Then a gush of wind blow through and once it dissipates, so did Morgause and Mordred.

Merlin breaths with relief and so did Arthur. Their merriment however is cut short when Morgana fainted in Arthur's arms.

__

 

 

Morgana falls into a deep slumber. Her body writhes on some nights while screams out on the others. Arthur stays by her bedside, refusing to leave, and so does Gwen, until Arthur says that she doesn't need to and relieves her from the room. She understands though that doesn't mean she isn't bitter. She feels him drifting but she pushes the feeling down. He needs her support, not her jealousy.

He doesn't touch Morgana, doesn't hold her hand or wipes the sweat from her face. The nurses do that. He just observes; because he has moral obligations to his kingdom and his wife. And he's afraid that if he holds her, he might find out something about him that he's not ready for. On the 7th night, she wakes.

"Arthur?"

Her voice lulls him from his slumber. "Morgana."

She gives him a small smile. Her face paler than before. "How long was I out for?"

"Seven days," he answers. "How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty."

He gets up immediately to draw her a glass of water. She sips it hungrily. "You screamed in your sleep," confesses Arthur quietly, "it scares me. I was afraid that you wouldn't ever wake up."

"Gwen used to deal with my nightmares," answers Morgana. "She was the only one beside Morgause that calmed me down."

His eyes cast downward. "What did you dream about?" asks Arthur, quietly, wondering if she'll give him a straight answer. "I couldn't make out what you were trying to say."

"Deaths. I see deaths. Yours mostly."

He looks up, surprised. "Mine?"

"Yeah. Years from now, or even tomorrow. I don't know anymore."

"And how do you use to deal with that?"

"It used to frighten me," she says; voice calm. "To know things that will occur and not being able to tell you out of fear of being executed."

He turns quiet. Millions of things pop into his mind.

"You look troubled Arthur."

"I never knew. I'm sorry."

She shakes her head. "Don't be. I hid it from you and shared with only a few. I could have trusted you but I didn't. I know that you've never been anything but on my side. Still, the thought that you might betray me frightened me and I assumed that you would react like how others did. I didn't have the confidence to tell you. Then Morgause appeared. She was my light in the darkness. She cured my nightmares."

"She did what I couldn't."

"Yes."

They stay like that for a few minutes before Arthur speaks up. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

"I have to," says Morgana, "They need me, and I need them."

His voice softens as he whispers. "What about me?"

There was so much affection in his tone that she has to look away, because she's afraid that if she's to stare at him any longer, he might just ruin the composure she tries so hard to maintain."You have Merlin, Gwen and Camelot to look after. You need to prosperous the country and we'll see each other again when the time is right."

"So that's it?"

"This goodbye of ours isn't forever." Before he protests further, she presses a gentle kiss to his cheeks. "Until we meet again."

 

 

"I heard you were leaving."

Morgana doesn't have to turn around to know whose voice it is. "Did you come here to threaten me?"

"I'm sorry."

She stops packing and looks back. There's mistrust in her eyes. "For what, Merlin? Poisoning me? Lying to me about your own magic when I was at my most vulnerable? Hurting Morgause?" asks Morgana, sarcastically. "Or declare me guilty of things I didn't yet commit?"

"You killed Gaius."

"The two don't cancel each other out, Merlin."

"I know," he agrees quietly. "I should have been a better friend. I should have trusted my gut instincts and tell you everything. I should have known that you weren't trying to destroy Camelot the first time. Instead I accused and poisoned you. I'm sorry for pushing you toward the path that you're on," he answers; face wrecks with guilt and he sounds sincere that she doesn't know how to react. "We were friends once. I wish for us to be again."

"And why should I believe anything you say?"

"Because we have both lost something from the war."

Their innocence, she thinks, as she remembers why she had trusted him in the first time. Because Merlin was the only one that can understands her, how it felt to be different and be fearful of who you are. "Someday perhaps."

He smiles widely, flashing all of his teeth as his face brightens. "I'll hold you to that."

 

 

 

_Come home, come home_

_Cuz all I see is you and me_

_So come home_

 

 

She comes to him as he lays in the rubble, bloodied and worn out from the war. She touches his wounds, runs her fingers across his face like she's engraving his features and whispers sweet nothings. She's gentler than he remembers and more beautiful than the last time he has seen her. The years that she has gone, he spends them fighting, waiting and hoping.

"Morgana..." The last ounce of strength he has left, he spends it whispering her name, and there are so many things he wants to say, many things he had discovered since she's left but she stops him with a shake of her head.

"It's okay." She hushes softly as she pulls him into her. "There will be time for that, later." Then she looks over at a Merlin and nods. "It's time. I need to take him away from here."

Merlin says nothing but gives a slight acknowledgement. "Take good care of him."

"I will," Morgana promises as Arthur lets himself fall further into his slumber.

The last thing Arthur thinks of are how light he felt lying in her arms even with all of his armor, how free it is to be done from his duty (Camelot is safe now) and how at home he feels right here with her; and it's those feelings that he knows he'll never come to see Camelot ever again.

 

 

 

\- _fin_


End file.
